A reminder to women during the Holiday Season.
The holidays are often painted to be a picture-perfect season of joy - relaxing around the house with a cup of cocoa, happily surrounded by family and friends. And while we may indulge ourselves in this season’s Hallmark movies or find moments of holiday cheer where we can, the reality is that this isn’t what the holidays look like for many people - especially women.
Many of us are putting in longer hours at work in anticipation of logging off during the holidays or prepping for kids being home on winter break. You may find yourself being the person shopping for all the gifts, arranging the holiday gatherings, prepping for visitors, setting up all the decorations, and meal planning — while also trying to live your day-to-day life.
The holidays, instead of being a time of rest, often become a marathon of stress, with little room for women to relax and enjoy the season themselves. All of this weight that we carry year-after-year, generation-after-generation to make the holidays perfect for our family and friends is the phenomenon of unseen (and often times unappreciated) labor.
But here’s an important truth: you DO NOT need to earn rest or joy during the holidays (or any time of year for that matter). These aren’t rewards for accomplishing a certain number of tasks or reaching a level of holiday perfection. They are essential parts of life that you deserve, simply because you exist.
Rest Is a Necessity, Not a Privilege
A common misconception, especially among women, is that rest must be earned. We tell ourselves we’ll relax when everything on the to-do list is done, when the house is clean, when the kids are settled, or when the meal is prepared. But this mindset is both draining and unsustainable.
Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. You don’t need to finish your holiday preparations before you allow yourself to rest. You don’t need to earn joy by completing tasks or pleasing others. Joy and rest are human needs, vital for your well-being. You deserve them, no matter how much or how little you’ve accomplished.
So this holiday season, let’s normalize prioritizing rest and mental health in this most demanding time of the year. To help you reclaim your time during the holidays, and to help you communicate to your loved ones how they can help, here are two lists for how 1) you can implement practices to reduce your stress and improve your well-being and 2) you can share with others the best ways they can support you during the holidays:
Tips for Resting and Reducing Stress During the Holidays:
1. Set Boundaries: You don’t have to do everything. Set limits on what you will and won’t do. Delegate tasks when possible. It’s okay to say no to certain gatherings or activities that drain you instead of bringing you joy.
2. Plan Rest into Your Schedule: Just like you schedule holiday shopping or family dinners, schedule time to rest. Even if it’s just an hour to enjoy a cup of tea, read a book, or take a nap, make sure rest is a non-negotiable part of your holiday season.
3.Turn Off Notifications: Social media and work emails can be a major source of stress during the holidays. Give yourself permission to disconnect. Turn off notifications, even if it’s just for a few hours a day, and be present with your loved ones or with yourself.
4.Let Go of Perfection: The holidays don’t have to be perfect. If the decorations aren’t flawless or the meal isn’t Instagram-worthy, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the love and effort you’ve put into making the holidays special, not the picture-perfect results.
5.Ask for Help: You don’t have to do it all alone. Ask your family members, friends, or partner for help. Whether it’s preparing meals, wrapping gifts, or decorating the house, sharing the workload will ease your burden and create more time for you to relax.
Tips for Families to Support the Women in Their Lives During the Holidays:
1. Offer Help Without Being Asked: Instead of waiting to be asked for help, STEP UP! Offer to handle certain tasks like shopping, cooking, or cleaning (especially the cleaning). Taking initiative shows that you recognize the hard work she’s putting in.
2. Share the Load: Divide the responsibilities equally. From gift shopping to meal prep, make sure everyone in the household is contributing in a meaningful way.
3. Encourage Her to Rest: Remind the women in your life that they don’t need to earn rest or joy. Encourage them to take time for themselves, even if it means postponing certain tasks or simplifying holiday plans.
4.Celebrate Her Efforts: Often, the work women do during the holidays goes unnoticed. Take the time to express appreciation and gratitude for all they do to make the holidays special. A simple “thank you” can go a long way.
Tips for Families to Support the Women in Their Lives During the Holidays:
1. Offer Help Without Being Asked: Instead of waiting to be asked for help, STEP UP! Offer to handle certain tasks like shopping, cooking, or cleaning (especially the cleaning). Taking initiative shows that you recognize the hard work she’s putting in.
2. Share the Load: Divide the responsibilities equally. From gift shopping to meal prep, make sure everyone in the household is contributing in a meaningful way.
3. Encourage Her to Rest: Remind the women in your life that they don’t need to earn rest or joy. Encourage them to take time for themselves, even if it means postponing certain tasks or simplifying holiday plans.
4.Celebrate Her Efforts: Often, the work women do during the holidays goes unnoticed. Take the time to express appreciation and gratitude for all they do to make the holidays special. A simple “thank you” can go a long way.
A Reminder for Every Woman Reading This:
As Maya Angelou beautifully said, “Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” You deserve to rest, recharge, and enjoy the season - without guilt, without pressure, and without conditions.
Despite the weight we all are carry this time of year, I hope that you bring these truths with you into the holidays and embrace them. Afterall, there would be no holiday season without women.
So, be kind to yourself, find time to rest, and cut yourself some dang slack!
Take a deep breath, and repeat:
You are powerful.
You are worthy.
And you are enough,
exactly as you are.
Catherine Porth is the Founder & Executive Director of Let Her Speak. Her mission is to improve and grow opportunities for women, one inspiring story at a time. If you are interested in learning more about or getting involved in our community, contact her at catherine@letherspeakusa.org.
Instagram: @letherspeakusa
LinkedIn: /catherine-porth
